| that you will always "feel" new and different things as you continue to meet new and different people. it never necessarily means that this time is gonna be any better than the previous. so dont kid yourself.
that everyone is temporary in your life, and you only have yourself to look out for forever. so do more for yourself.
that finding selfless people is hard to find. so hard.
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| something so good turned the last 8 days into an absolute nightmare. i was going through depression, exhaustion, and lack of motivation. i was depressed i was stuck back home. i will never have the opportunities like i had ever again, i will never be as happy and free as i was ever again. i am back to having a curfew, i have to sleep on my own, i have responsibilities like work and school to take care of. over a span of.. 5 days i probably had just barely 2 days worth of sleep. i had 3 nights of work after coming home, i had projects to look over and my cousin needed me the most through all this. i noticed i couldn't stand on my own two feet when i had to hold onto a railing, walk near a stable wall, and not let go of you wherever we went. and so i cried. you watched me cry in pain...because i couldn't take it anymore.
im SO stubborn. everyone's telling me to take a week off.. to just.. relax. take a week off from working. but im greedy so i laugh it off and say ''its ok. i can take it. i dont like being bored." this is what you get, sophie. you wake up late for your ubc assisting rotation and get one of the nastiest bitchings from an instructor infront of the clinic dispensary.
i've been thinking about what im going to do after i graduate. this career doesn't have job security. its pays well, but with the hst coming, i wont be able to afford the things i want in life. my conflict with the instructor will probably shoot any hopes of working with vcc in the future since i didn't represent the school appropriately by not showing up. THE FUCK MAN, i followed protocols and called our school as it says in the manual. nothing was mentioned about calling miriam. .____.;;
i can't be an employer.. so there goes dentistry. i kinda like prosthodontics.. but dentists are trying to find more ways to make money so they're taking over the denturists' role too. if i want to be a hygenist it's a better idea to go eastward..which means leaving. ...
i dunno.. life will pan itself out when i dont force it. it's how its been working lately.
i've had enough fucking around, i need to get ontop of things again.. i hate fucking things up so badly that its the only way i find the motivation to get started all over again.
that was the best vacation of my life so far. i'd never felt so happy, so free from responsiblities. couldn't have spent it with anyone else. you've helped me pick my feet up and i bet it was hard for you considering how stubborn and hard headed i am. one day.
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| its been one thing after another lately, with everyone. it makes me wanna send out a universal "fuck you" to be honest. i can't stand it. im the one sitting here biting my tongue trying to make it work while everyone is out pointing fingers at me. well YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. im going to victoria to patch my wounds.
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